A Child of Three - Week 6

This week has been an interesting one. While I’ve had the abundant blessing of time, it seems like it’s all been rushed, going by faster than I would have ever imagined, and leaving me thoughtless as to what write about. Instead of trying to find the words, the stories to share, or ideas I’ve had, I thought it best to just write about what’s happening in my life and how I see the Spirit working.

I’ve been wrestling with how to listen to God, with how He speaks to me, and the time I give in listening. I was brought to my knees in prayer this week, only once, after the only letter I wrote to Him, and experienced a flow in audible prayer that even I was surprised with. In my prayer I could feel the Spirit’s words come out of my mouth. The things I was praying and the way they were said lifted me to a place where I felt connected with God. As I poured out what was on my heart (things I didn’t even know were there), suddenly my words stopped, and there was wave of silence that came over me. In this silence I heard nothing, I thought nothing, and everything was completely still. The silence didn’t last long and I was unsure of why it came, but when it was over I felt calm. That was the end of my prayer that night; basking in the minute of silence the Lord gave me.

I’ve been wrestling with how to listen to God, with how He speaks to me, and the time I give in listening. I was brought to my knees in prayer this week, only once, after the only letter I wrote to Him, and experienced a flow in audible prayer that even I was surprised with. In my prayer I could feel the Spirit’s words come out of my mouth. The things I was praying and the way they were said lifted me to a place where I felt connected with God. As I poured out what was on my heart (things I didn’t even know were there), suddenly my words stopped, and there was wave of silence that came over me. In this silence I heard nothing, I thought nothing, and everything was completely still. The silence didn’t last long and I was unsure of why it came, but when it was over I felt calm. That was the end of my prayer that night; basking in the minute of silence the Lord gave me.

After our time together, a new day began. My morning was blessed in the way I got to help a friend in need, followed by an afternoon of more engaging conversation with another. This conversation mirrored the one I had the night before but it was different all in it’s own. We talked about seasons and fears we both shared along with the leadings we were both asking for. I told her I had been struggling with my experience at church and how I wanted to be a part of what was happening but with the set backs I’ve experienced the past few months, I wasn’t sure that it was the place for me. Along with her attentive ear, she provided encouraging suggestions, and seemed to relate in the ways I suggested it could be my own heart preventing me to take further action. I left our time together thankful and full of things to talk to God about (some of which I think I did).

This same day I met with a friend who is facing an unfortunate amount of time that lies before him. Despite what is coming, he rejoiced in knowing that God would strengthen him and that he would have the opportunity to work on areas of his life that he wanted to change. I was inspired by his smile regardless of what was coming and taken back by his ability to live in the moment. We spent that night not worried about anything, enjoying the simplicities of life, along each other’s company. Though he was burdened with thoughts of anxiety, he was able to be what he wanted in the present. A child of God.

The next day (yesterday), as I left my friend with his future, my present was tired. I got home about 6 in the evening, fell asleep shortly after, then slept the whole night through. I awoke this morning to sit down and work on my article, but I had difficulty in trying to arrange my thoughts. I read the Word, straightened the house, and talked to a few people before picking up a different book by Robert Morris entitled Frequency. I cried when reading this book about listening to God. Morris shared stories which made me desperately long for the type of communication he described with our Savior. It’s now been hours since I’ve read those words that made me cry and I’m realizing that while my communication looks different at the moment, it’s a communication nonetheless, and it’s a communication that can be strengthened.

I received an email from church today asking me if I’d be willing to join the regular serve rotation in greeting our members. Though there could be a variety of reasons this email was sent personally to me, I believe it was God who initiated this request (or response to my prayers). My communication might not be exactly as Morris described, but it gives me something to look forward to in the ways that I know that God speaks. For now, I continue to pray for ears that listen and eyes to see the ways in which Christ communicates with me. May the Lord allow me to rest more in His silence and hear more of His guiding truth while living as His child.