14 Nov
Foggy Lights - Week 32, 33, & 34

 With some time passing since I last wrote, the longest I’ve gone since I started this project, I felt it necessary to engage about the past few weeks and the lot that has happened within them. Not only has the usual come in the ways of work but I’ve also started classes once again to further my education in the understanding of this creation and the Creator. I’ve been busy and feel like my life in prayer hasn’t grown at all. I feel that there’s been nothing new in the developments of how I talk to God or the frequency of me doing so, and if I’m completely honest, I even felt at one point that I’d forgotten how to talk to the Lord altogether. This, more than anything, has compelled me to write this week.

 There’s times when it seems like we’ve said everything there is to say and that we can’t find anything different to talk about, especially when it comes to conversation with God. I find myself with a list of redundant prayers and common phrases that I use in my dialogue with Christ and think about the boredom He might have in listening to the same old tired track. These thoughts I know are absurd but they’re realities in my mind nonetheless. There’s also an impression that we’re limited in the things that we can tell God and that if He knows everything already, there’s really no point in discussing our hearts desires or concerns with Him. It’s in these impressions that I have to fight the hardest against.

“Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18) Pray without ceasing! This of course will allow for many redundancies and why not? God redundantly gives us the gift of gravity, oxygen, sunshine, rain, and consciousness (to name just the minuscule). However, I’ve noticed over the past few weeks, that I’ve gotten pretty good at thinking about nothing. My mind just sits in a kind of neutral resting stage, with nothing to run through it. While it’s a pleasant change from the constant turning of my usual brain, I also find it quite disturbing to have my mind so numb.  “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--His good, pleasing and perfect will.” (Romans 12:2) And how do we renew our minds? By keeping it sharp and focused on the Kingdom of our greatest Love. By engaging with Him in His word and searching the depths of our being to find out what matters most.

I picked up a loose piece of paper the other day and it read: “Lord thank you for this time. Thank You for Your creation Father. I ask You to help us bring more of Your Kingdom in to our careers. Let us increase in our faith, producing art together. Remind us that the essence of all is relationship with You. May we seek more of You Jesus.” After reading this I was surprised to find it was my own prayer that I was reading and that I would use such language in addressing our Lord but then I remembered how natural it seemed at the time. How many prayers I’ve said similar and how deep I’ve gone in other conversations with Him. Trying to find that intimacy again, I’ve learned that it’s not an overnight turn. We don’t go from our first words to full on sentences in the course of a day, and like most other things, it’s a process.

The continual process of learning how to interact with God can be forgotten in a moment. There’s periods of time where we have to start from scratch and a simple hello is all that we’re able muster but it’s from that hello that we blossom into dialogue. It’s from that dialogue that we learn more of ourselves and more about the One who created us. Sure we may feel silly in the dedication of speaking to One who might not always answer but rest assured that One is ALWAYS listening and in just the right way and at just the right moment He WILL respond. Never give up. Never put aside the idea that God wants to talk with us, because He absolutely does.

Over the course of the past three weeks I have (as usual) engaged in a superficial way with Jesus. I’ve made a point to read His Word at least once a week, not to mention the daily verse that pops up on my phone, and have seen Him guide my life to the moment I’m in now. Though my heart may be selfish and distant, God is all the time near and constantly inviting me into conversation with Him, no matter how redundant. I’ve learned that if there is a constant concern or desire in my heart, that I should continuously give that over to Christ because He is the one who is able. He is the one who will allow for the release or the remaining hold of these weights and maybe there’s a reason for the hold. Perhaps God leaves those concerns or desires on our heart so that we do continue to discuss them with Him. If it’s a particular person, maybe that person needs prayer, if it’s a particular situation maybe God wants to change our hearts on the matter. If it’s a struggle, maybe God wants to show us that He is bigger than that struggle. Whatever the reason, the concern, or the desire, I know that God wants it. I ask that we never stop talking to the One who is listening. May we continually give Him the redundancies of our heart and springboard from the hello’s of our shyness to the paragraphs of our boldness. In the name of our Lord Jesus I pray. Amen!

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