A few things happened this week that could have used some more Godly attention. An upset friendship, a disapointing job situation, and an incident that can best be described as theft. As I voiced my desire for Christ to help me in these affairs, I quickly realize that I spent more time talking about them to others than I did discussing them with God Himself. In times like these I am thankful for the Spirit interceding and the truth of God knowing exactly what we need before we say a word. Despite my neglegence, Jesus has faithfully been by my side. He has been working on prayers hidden in the corners of my mind and revealing more reasons to trust that He is listening. More reasons to fearfully love Him.
My involvement with God this week wasn’t nearly as prodominent as it was last. I feel like I missed out on ample opportunity to spend time with the Lord and the strong intentions I had to do so, fell by the wayside. I let my own thoughts roll around in my head and I spent the majority of my time thinking them through without asking for much Heavenly guidance. Though I can’t say my thoughts were far from God, they were scarcely given to Him and the intimacy I put aside was certainly missed.
A couple months ago I started praying for an elderly gentleman who needs a little more attentive care. I haven’t been redundant in this prayer but every now and then I remember to include him in my conversations with God. Because this man was hesitant to the idea of different living situations, I asked for Jesus to soften his heart about moving and that He would lead him to an environment of deserving love. I am still hopeful all of this will come to fruition but in the meantime I praisefully report that this gentleman shared his desire to now move into a care facility. Wow!
I am amazed with how God can use anything and everything to speak. Just when my discussions grew light, He delivers this distant news of encouragement. Just when I start to drift off into my own thoughts, He calls my interests back to His. Don’t get me wrong, I still spent time with God this week, but it was more in the way of reading about Him rather than speaking with Him, and I’m continually learning just how important conversation is. Not only did Jesus respond to an infrequent prayer of mine this week, but He also answered a pretty familiar one too.
After months of prayer and chremo a friend of mine was deemed cancer free on Wednesday. My friend put his faith in Christ and though there were moments of uncertainty, doubt, anger, and fear, the Lord granted him the request of being able to thank everyone for their prayers. His desire to visit with ones that had given him so much support beat out the cells that were killing his body. My friend now has the opportunity to further his growth in the gifts that God has given him and glorify our Father for His attentive love. An attentive love that never ceases.
Thankfully, God’s love has been reigning all over this life. He has dilligently been answering prayers that call for great joy and reminding me that our relationship is of highest priority. However, I’d be lying if I said I never got upset with the answers Jesus provides or the way He allows for certain things to unfold. There’s no telling why some prayers are answered the way they’re received while others seem to have no affect in the world, but I’m reluctant to say they don’t. I’m reluctant to think that any prayer goes unheard and that God doesn’t answer them all one way or another. Because I trust that Christ is working all things together for the good of those who love Him, it’s a little easier to be content in the confusion and saddness. It’s a little easier to see past the closing doors and focus on the ones He’s opening because I know that He wants nothing but the best for His children. He wants nothing more than their heart.
These past few months I’ve had my fair share of both open and closed doors. I’ve been upset by some of the Lord’s reponses and joyous of others. I’ve had prayers answered swiftly and am still waiting for others. Through these engagements I can see how the Lord was (and is) asking for more of my heart. I can see where my best interest comes into play and the struggle I have for realizing it’s not me that knows. As I work to ask God for more of what He would want, there’s no shortage in the the way I see Him needed and no confusion to the necessity prayer has in our lives. There’s no doubt that Christ is interested in hearing from each one of us and that He desires for all people to be saved, coming to the knowledge of truth.
What’s weird about having a relationship with Jesus is the way we keep that truth alive. I’d like to think that once we’ve found our connection, it’d be easier to maintain. I’d like to think the freedom of a life with Christ would keep us from revisting the prisons we fled from. But life’s funny like that and simply knowing just isn’t enough. While I look forward to the upcoming opportunities I have to spend with the Lord, I thank Him for His renewing mercies each day. I seek to have a steadier relationship with God and ask for help in surrendering my thoughts to Him. I pray that God continues to make it easier for me to be intimate with Him and that He allow for follow through on my good intentions. May He give us all Heavenly guidance, knowkedge of His truth, and a deeper love. I pray these things in the powerful name of Jesus. Amen!